Just The Two of Us

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I'll be back on the blog on Sunday, see you then!

Bare Bear?

The other day RW decided to take a soak in our hot tub.  He wandered back into the house with a towel wrapped around his middle.  As I passed behind him, I happened to glance down. I could see that he had already shed his swimsuit from under his towel.

"Oooh, a bare butt!" I teased as I passed.

"A what?"  He sounded confused.

"A bare butt!"  I gave his towel a swat.

"Oh please, honey."  He sounded slightly disgusted.  "Bear butts are MUCH furrier, I guarantee it."

 

Wildlife Encounter

Help?

Lost and Found

The last time that RW and I were in California, ZeketheFreatRatTerrier stayed home.  Ok, he's stayed home every time we've gone to California, as I have yet to get up my nerve to actually take him on an airplane.  I have visions nightmares of him crying, yelping, and putting up a generally loud fuss from under that seat in front of me, earning me dagger stares from the other 300 people forced to sit, crammed together in a flying metal tube for 4 hours.  Since I am so far unwilling to subject myself to such scrutiny, ZeketheFreakRatTerrier stays grounded.

The last few years since Karen and Nathan moved out to the country, ZeketheFreakRatTerrier has enjoyed country life while we've vacationed.  Never mind that Karen generally can't stand dogs (she claims she can tolerate ZeketheFreakRatTerrier).  Unfortunately, this general arrangement may soon be ending.

RDub and I were climbing the hills outside of Fresno chugging along towards Yosemite in our rental car when my phone rang:

Karen: "Ummm, hi. [long pause]   Does RW have his phone with him?  Is it on?"

Me: [immediately suspicious] "Yeesssss... why?" [do I really want to know?]

Karen: "Well.....[another long pause] we can't find Zeke, and I know the number on his tags goes to RW's phone."

Me: [sitting up straighter] "What do you mean you can't find Zeke?  When did you see him last?"

Karen: "At least a few hours ago."

Me: [trying to keep my voice nonchalant] "A few hours ago? He hasn't shown back up yet?"

Meanwhile RW pipes up from the driver's seat.. "He probably got hit by a car."  He says this very matter-of-factly.  Oh thank you RDub, for putting THAT thought in my mind.

I hand the phone over to RW and turn my head so he can't see that I actually have uh.. tears... running down my cheeks at the absolute certainty that ZeketheFreakRatTerrier is now dead on the side of the gravel road, swarmed by flies.  And perhaps sniffed by squirrels, the ultimate disgrace for ZeketheFreakRatTerrier.  Again RW, thanks for putting THAT thought in my mind.

As RDub confers with Karen on the best places to look for him ("are there any animals or other dogs at nearby farms?"), my mind starts to adjust to life without my dog.  I know, it's a defect that I have - clamping onto the worst-case scenario as if it were already reality.  Just ask my mother.

RW hangs up and Karen loaded up the 4 kids into the van to go look for the dog.  My dog.  Yeah - that sounds like a fun time for her, doesn't it?  I can't lie, I was feeling just as bad for Karen having to drive up and down the roads with her kids, looking for a dog that's not even hers, as I was for me, losing my lovely dog to a car vs. dog encounter.  Again, RW, thanks for putting THAT thought in my mind.

My phone rang again soon thereafter. My heart pounded as I reached for it, trying to prepare myself to hear about the lifeless dog on the side of the road, swarmed by flies and sniffed by squirrels.

"FOUND HIM!"  Karen sounded relieved.

Suddenly, COLOR came BACK into my word.  Music RANG from the hills.  Angels APPEARED in the sky.  Ok, not really.  That would be really... disturbing for an event involving a dog.

Apparently ZeketheFreakRatTerrier has discovered that at the farm next door, there are several other dogs to visit.  When Karen first found him, he actually refused to get into her van with her.  He turned and trotted back to his friends. I know.  My dog has no shame, whatsoever.

Well I suppose I can't get upset.  After all, one gets what they pay for, right?  Perhaps if Karen starts charging and I start paying, things will go better.  However, Karen and I don't ever pay each other for services rendered.  Childcare (me) and dogcare (her) and a multitude of other things ("Can you whip up a batch of Chicken Noodle Soup or baked spaghetti, or go to the grocery store for me" etc. etc. from both of us)  If we started charging, it would turn our friendship into a business relationship.  Oh - and take all the fun out of serving each other as needed.  That's what friends are for, right?

And as for ZeketheFreakRatTerrier?  He can no longer be trusted to roam free in the country.  Obedience is one virtue that ZeketheFreakRatTerrier lacks.  Severely lacks.  Some (read, RW) would say that's my fault.  But I think I'll leave that for another post.  And for the record... ZeketheFreakRatTerrier's tags now sport my phone number along with Karen's, as I'm guessing I'm not going to be the one losing him.

The Odds of a Balanced Budget

You will often find RW and I around our home with Kindle's in hand, as we both do quite a bit of reading.  RW, I am convinced, spends about as much time looking for a book worthy of his time as he does actually reading the book.  At least he's not as bad as his mother was, she used to read the last chapter first, to decide if the book was worth reading.  Don't get me going on that one again.  It makes me all tense inside.

I am constantly giving RDub advice on what books to read... invariably, he doesn't really take my book advice.  I should probably be offended by this, but I'm not.  He's (clearly) the one missing out. 

A few weeks ago he was moaning and groaning about not knowing what to read.  Never mind that we have over 300 unread books currently sitting on our Kindle's, these were not good enough for RW.  No.  He went straight to the mothership.  He spent that entire evening roaming around on Amazon.com, looking for that perfect book.  The book that will draw one in.  That book that you don't want to put down - the one that you grieve for 3 days when it ends.  He searched and searched.  By the time we crawled into bed, he was happily reading away.  I was glad he found something interesting.  Finally.

The next morning I sat down at the computer to check my emails before trotting off to work.  Ok, I don't really trot to work, that would be more than a little weird.  But I'm sure you know what I meant.  I sorted through the usual assortment of spam that tends to find its way to my in-box during the dark hours of the night, and found an order confirmation email from Amazon.  RW's new book.  The one for which he searched high and low.

I glanced through it and was ready to hit delete, when the title caught my eye.  No, it couldn't be.  RDub did NOT spend 3 hours looking for the perfect book, only to settle on this:

"Budget of the United States Government, Fiscal Year 2011"

I kid you not.  Also included in that order was this gem of a literary find:

"CK-12 Advanced Probability and Statistics"

Perhaps he was attempting to figure out what the probability was of the United States Government balancing the budget during fiscal year 2011?  I'll have to give him the benefit of the doubt on that one.  And surely, SURELY the book "The Help", on our Kindle's, which he steadfastly refuses to read because it's "a chick book" has got to be better than "Budget of the United States Government, Fiscal Year 2011"?  Don't you think?  What are the odds he'll ever read The Help?  If you need help figuring them out, we've got a book you may borrow.  You're welcome.

Working Up a Sweat

Most people can tell when winter has arrived because it gets cold outside.  Snow is another stellar indicator.  At our house, winter arrives earlier than that.  There's a sure-fire way that I know that we are sinking into the depths of the cold, dark crevasse, the underbelly of the year.  How do I know?  Two words: Thermostat Wars.

I like it cooler inside.  RW prefers it downright tropical - think, oh... Sahara Desert.  I want to be able to comfortably sleep under our down comforter.  This really shouldn't be an issue as our bedroom has 2 outside walls, neither of which are insulated.  However, this becomes an issue when someone - not going to name any names here, but I'll just say it's not me - cranks up the thermostat.  RW prefers to sleep with no blankets on whatsoever.  Can you feel the conflict here?  Catching my draft drift?

So this is all to say that despite what the calendar says, winter has officially arrived.  You can forget cupcake wars or cake wars or whatever other reality show "wars" are out there, Thermostat Wars are the next big thing, at least at our house.  Bring it on.

Stacked

There are times in life that one just needs to shrug one's shoulders in a sort of "don't ask me - I'm just the passenger" sort of way.  You may remember - this was one of those moments.  One would think that these types of things don't really happen on a regular basis, but when it comes to RW, you would be wrong.

During our 2011 Grand Camping Adventure, you may recall that our Mr. 1991 Truck was out of commission getting a new radiator and water pump.  Well thank goodness we still had the motorcycle, or we would have been very much stuck at our campsite.  In fact, our camping neighbors, the ones that we camp next to every single year, teased RDub that the only reason he must haul that bike out with us is for alternate transportation when our vehicles are in the shop.  Yeah, it'd be really funny if it weren't so true.

Anyway, you've heard the saying that necessity is the mother of invention, right?  Let's just say that it's a good thing RW knows how to dance with the bungee cords:

Yup, we got a few looks.  And a lot of laughs.  And I ducked my head and pretended I was invisible.

But without that, we wouldn't have had this:

And without this, we wouldn't have had anywhere to warm our... uh... selves.

And if we had nowhere to warm our... uh.. selves, we would have been cold.  And perhaps a little crabby.  So it appears as if things were stacked in our favor after all.  Thank goodness for that.

What Were You Doing in 1986?

Africa

A Cut Above

Just a short word of advice to all of you gals out there.  Now, I'm not saying that I know this from personal experience or anything, but please, please do not cut yourself bangs if you don't currently have them.  Trust me on this.  This is a job best left for a professional.  

Really, go with me on this.  Just saying.

Sharing at Starbucks

I have 3 sisters-in-law on RW's side of life and family, and unfortunately, we don't get to see them very often.  Really, the only time we see them is when we make the trek to sunny California, as oddly enough, we've had a tough time convincing them to leave CA for a few days to visit us.  Apparently that's a hard sell.  Anyway.  We keep working on it.

When we go to California, we almost always stay at RW's sister Nellie's place.  She and our brother-in-law Bobby are really to blame for our marriage.  I kid you - they aren't really to blame.  That sounds as if they did something wrong, when in reality, they gave me the world.  Really, they did. They introduced RW and I, way back in the day. The day in which we all lived in the unfortunate geography of Chicagoland.  I knew them before I knew him.  Nellie helped me plan our wedding.  She put on our rehearsal dinner.  She entrusted me with the care of her kids.  She befriended me.  Bobby welcomed me right into their family.  He actually married us.  So you can see, we all go back aways.  There is history there.

So I am always thrilled when I get to see Nell - I wish we lived right next door.  The last time we were there was in May, for our nephew's wedding.  The day before the wedding Nellie, Amy (my gorgeous niece) and I were running around doing the last-minute things that one must do before a family wedding.  One of the stops we made was at Target.  Walking out of Target, we noticed the Starbucks right by the door, and firmly decided that we should stop there.  It was a necessity. Had I known then what I know now, I don't think that I would have let anyone know that I was with Nellie.  In fact, I just may have suggested that she go get the car while Amy and I handled the orders and such at Starbucks.

It all started with a coupon.  Nell had a coupon for a particular flavor of Frappuccino, but unfortunately this was not the flavor that she desired.  I give her kudos for this - she did really try to get them to accept the coupon.  She was not successful, but I can promise you that it wasn't for lack of trying.  Ahem. 

We (and by "we", I mean Amy and I) got through the embarressment of the whole coupon arguement, all the while glancing furtively at long line of people behind us.  The people who had looks of impatient disgust, watching the whole "coupon discussion".  Anyway, we survived that and stood there with a few other folks, waiting for our drinks to appear on the counter.

Amy's and mine came up first, and we grabbed them and walked to the edge of the store and watched, while Nell waited near the magical counter.  The counter on which your drink was delivered.

Soon a drink appeared on that magical counter. Nellie grabbed it and took a sip.  She took another sip.  She made a face, as if this taste was not what she was expecting.  Meanwhile, another lady was watching her with an unreadable expression.

Nellie caught her eye, and uh... connected the dots.  "OH!  I think this is YOUR DRINK!"  She then proceeded to hand.the.drink. to the other lady.  The drink that she had already sipped out of.  This must have then occurred to Nellie, and she went the extra step; "OH!  I'll get you ANOTHER straw!"

You can just imagine the look on the lady's face.  Oh, and the look on Amy's and my face.  Priceless, is the word that comes to mind... 

Let's just say that a) the lovely staff at Starbucks made another drink for this poor lady, and b) we hightailed it out of there as fast as we could, and c) we laughed about it all the way home.

Pure, classic Nellie.  And I love her for it.